Tag Archive | "Divorce"

Divorce and Its Effects to Your Children

Divorce is inevitable in some marriages and even if you try so hard to save the relationship with your partner, there would be times that you and your spouse will not be able to hold onto it anymore. All couples would consider divorce as the last resort in marriage especially when they have children. The most painful experience that a child can experience is hearing the news that his parents are bound to have divorce. It can be painful to the couple, but it will be extremely difficult for their children to deal with the situation.

The following are some of the effects that divorce bring to children and what you can do to help them:

  • Children may blame themselves on what happened with their parents relationships. You should tell your child that he has nothing to do with the divorce. Tell your child about the reason why you can’t continue with the marriage and why it is the best option for your family.
  • Children may lack self confidence and think that they are inferior. Encourage your child to be the best that he can be. Tell him that you believe on his talents and the things that he can do. Let your child feel that both you and your partner will always be there to support his endeavors even if one of you has to go from home.
  • Children may think and feel that they are abandoned and not loved. It is normal for children to feel this way especially when they are used to having the both of your partner together at home. Assure your child that he is loved even if you and your partner are having a divorce. Tell him that their role and love as parents does not stop with divorce.
  • Children who have to deal with parents on divorce will have feeling of sadness, pain, frustration, and anger. No matter what happens between you and your partner make sure that you treatment to your child will not change. Express and tell your children that you will love them. Encourage him to ventilate his feelings and do your best to give him assurance that only your family set-up will change your child will always remain the love of your life.

Divorce will always be a hard part in all of the family member’s life, but your children will still grow up normally just as long as you do extra efforts to make things as normal as possible even if you are no longer a couple with your partner.

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How Divorce Affects Your Teenager

You may at last had the chance to overcome the burden and that nightmare living a life each day with your husband or wife but the question is, are you a hundred and one percent sure that your little tots are not in any way affected? Do you think your separation and the dispute you have made do not create an impact to your family? What if your kids are not just doing fine? What will you do? What are the possible interventions?

Having divorce is not new to couples who have decided to move on with their own lives rather than insisting to be together and in the end having a faulty family relationship. There is actually no big problem if husbands and wives are just the ones confronting the situation. In most cases, children are involved and they become victims at an early age. Situational crisis may likely to happen because divorce in a family consisting of children is something that is not ideal.

Difficult as it may seem, diplomacy and love can bridge the gap between parents and children.

Help your children cope with divorce. It may be very difficult but using a matter of fact approach with a touch of empathy may be in any way essential. Consider the following:

  1. Be honest and tell your child the truth. Make the explanation simple to avoid having your children confused. Do not blame each other and stay calm all throughout the talk.
  2. A powerful and sincere message like “I love you” will help your children feel that nothing has changed in terms of your feelings and amour towards them. Let them understand that you will still keep an eye to them.
  3. Present reality like things may or may not change. Help the children to cope and gradually accept what is happening.
  4. Avoid nagging, shouting and throwing undesirable words in front of your children.

Your choice of words should be considered otherwise, you might hurt your children’s feelings.

  1. Plan everything and conversations should be done with both parties (husband and wife) present.
  2. Let your children be aware that the divorce or the separation is not their fault.
  3. Listen to your children’s feelings. Do not intrude.
  4. Encourage verbalization of concerns and help them find the best words to elaborate what they have deep within.

Children should be observed for signs of failure to adapt or ineffective coping. Things like difficulty falling asleep, violence, poor concentration, trouble making in school, among others should not be ignored as they can be all manifestations of divorce related anxiety or worst depression.

Even things are not as the same as before, unconditional love should always remain and be reserved for the children incessantly.

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Divorce and Its Negative Effects On Children

Divorce has seemingly become very common these days.  It has become very prevalent in today’s young couples.  Majority of parents who get divorced usually either search for unrealistic relationships in their marriages or simply do not believe that it can bring negative effects on their children.

According to research, children who belonged to parents who experienced repeat divorces acquired lower grades and more likely to experience difficulty fitting in.   The lost of either parent to divorce usually causes the lack of emotional support the child needs from either parent.

Around forty percent of children in America grow up without their fathers.  It is very critical that in the event parents get divorced, the father of the child should continue to provide good parenting such as helping with homework, spending quality time, and being emotionally available to the child.  Unfortunately, a lot of parents lose these practices immediately after divorce.

Conflict amongst parents during or after the divorce is also a major contributor to the child’s well-being.  Often times, parents who decide to divorce believe that if they would be happier being divorced, their kids will be happier compared to when both parents are miserable staying together.  Divorce is a change that most adults find very difficult to get adjusted to.  Can you imagine what the situation is like for your children?

As parents, it’s perfectly understandable that you feel uncertainty on how exactly you can provide the right and needed support to your children.  You may have gone through a divorce for the first time, but there’s always something you can do to help your kids always feel loved, to never allow your circumstances affect their self-confidence and personality.

You can provide constant reassurance, making them feel that they can always rely and count on you.  Try not to let your child see and feel your conflict with your spouse.  Just bear in mind that their well-being is your topmost priority.

They key thing here is to make them feel that the divorce is not their fault.  You need to commit to listening to their feelings without falling into the trap of being defensive.  Reassure them by letting them feel that there is nothing they should be afraid of and making them understand the situation.  Your unconditional love for them will strongly be felt, and highly necessary.

Cooperating with your ex plays a very important role in ensuring that your children grow stable and strong even after the divorce.  Putting aside your conflicts with your ex may be complex and stressful.  Trying to control strong feelings of resentment, anger, and any kind of conflict with your ex may be the most difficult part.  However, it is very possible to agree on an affable working relationship.  Sure enough, any parent should do this for their children’s sake.

You and your ex should consider this as a new relationship with one another.  Again, this has to be agreed with the common understanding that your children’s needs come first.  Remember that just because your marriage is over doesn’t mean your family is too.

Posted in Adolescence, Child Psychology, CommunicationComments (0)