Household chores can be tiring for a mother who takes care of a family with many children. Assigning household chores to children is never easy as most children and teens would rather play, watch tv or go out with their friends. But most experts agree that assigning household chores in children can help in teaching them to be responsible and make them feel needed in their family. Furthermore children will realize that running a household is not as easy as they think it is and by helping out they can give back something in return to their parents. Teaching them household chores early in life will help them transition into adulthood and will make independent living easier for them in the future.

How can we make our children participate in household chores?

1. Explain to children that in a family everyone has his or her own responsibility to help out in every way they can.
2. Make a list of all the household chores and help you children pick which chores they would like to partake in.
3. Set flexible deadlines in their household chores. Make them feel that doing chores can be fun and fulfilling. Avoid giving them pressure to finish a certain task rather remind them the value of doing the assigned task promptly to avoid delay.
4. Be specific in giving out instructions. Instead of saying “clean your room”, specifically tell them what they need to do in order to make their rooms clean like fold clean clothes and put them in the cabinet, gather dirty clothes in the hamper, put all toys in container box after use, fold bed linens and arrange the bed every morning after getting up from bed.
5. Be generous in giving praise. Don’t wait until they have finished the chore to offer praise. As they start to do the chore you can commend them right away for taking initiative.
6. Teach them the chore and don’t expect perfection. Let them learn little by little and with constant supervision at the start. Once they get it you can let them do it on their own to give them the sense of carrying the task independently.

In determining what tasks or household chores to be assigned to your children you need to consider if the chores assigned are age appropriate for them. Here are some suggestions of age appropriate household chores.

Children ages 2 to 4

• Arrange toys back to shelves and containers
• Pile dirty clothes in the hamper
• Arrange magazines and books in shelves and trays

Children ages 5 to 7

• Help water the plants
• Help set the table and clear it up
• Make up beds
• Sweep floors and dust cabinets
• Rake leaves in backyard
• Fold clean clothes from the dryer
• Take out the trash

Children ages 8 to 10

• Help in laundry
• Arrange groceries in shelves
• Vacuum the floor
• Make own snacks
• Feed pets
• Mop floors
• Walk the dog outside
• Make breakfast like toast and cereals
• Help in washing the car

Gone are the days where children spend all afternoon playing outside under the sun with the company of their peers. Peek outside and you won’t see them running around the backyard or on the streets in gleeful play instead they are either engaged in homework, home group study, varsity practice or after school curricular activities. This has become an increasing phenomenon nowadays, the so called “superkids” or those children who are said to be pushed too hard by their parents. These kids are pressured into doing well in school and be well rounded through engaging in sports and other structured activities outside of school. Initially these kids are all excited and enthusiastic of these extra curricular activities but as soon as these becomes too much for them stress and fatigue comes in causing children to fail their subjects, become sick or depressed.

Let’s face it every parent wants their child to become equipped with all the skills that would make them become successful adults in the future. Parents enroll their kids in sports, make them join various clubs and civic groups and on top of that expect them to do well in school. Parents sometimes are mistaken into thinking that by having their children be exposed to a wide variety of experiences will make them more successful individuals when they grow up. They are not entirely wrong with the idea but cramming everything into your child’s day to day life can be exhausting and draining for the child to endure and even enjoy. Imagine your kid gets up early in the morning for school almost running unable to eat a proper breakfast then gets off from school to go to basketball practice to come home late for dinner too tired to even sit on the table. But it does not end there he has to do homework due the next day. On a daily basis your child will most likely become too stressed out from all the scheduled activities he has to do and accomplish he may not be able to have time for himself to reflect and ponder on things that are much more important like self reflection.

Let us remember that we should always support our children in things that they want to do and never push to accomplish everything too soon. Make sure to give them ample time to do leisure activities such as going out and being with their friends, talking with family members and basically doing nothing. Being free to have time for themselves will nurture their creativity and individuality because in this moment is where they become more of themselves and not what their parents want them to be.  Be a giving parent and release your child to explore the world and become his own self to be supported and guided by you. With this you will be able to avoid over scheduling your child and avoid the stress and fatigue brought by too many structured activities.

There are many reasons why children get angry perhaps just like adults do. However dealing with children’s anger is sometimes very difficult for parents as they have to consider their emotional state and immaturity in dealing with them. Children oftentimes argue with parents endlessly that it becomes exhausting. We have to understand that children lacks the maturity and ability to understand complex things unlike adults and sometimes they can’t get a hold of their emotions which at most times can become hurtful to others. Don’t get frustrated and take their anger bursts seriously, keep in mind the raging hormones that contributes to their sudden surge of emotional anger.

Children should be taught how to manager their anger before it gets out of hand. Dealing with anger effectively can prevent violence towards self and others. This is important because if anger is not expressed in a constructive way it can get resort into physical violence such as gun shooting, violence towards others and worst, suicide.

Allow children to feel angry. Being angry is normal for a person who is stuck in traffic, broken something precious or lost something valuable. These emotions are normal to everyone. What we need to know is how to express anger in manageable and accepted ways. For children being angry is a common response to various situations when they feel humiliated, embarrassed or nervous. These situations make children feel helpless which accounts to their frustration and sudden bursts of anger. We can help them by teaching those ways on how to address and manage their feelings of anger. Here’s how.

• Explain to children that anger is a normal occurrence but when they act out the anger to aggression then it is not ok anymore.
• Teach other ways on how to express anger aside from being aggressive and violent such as taking a break or a moment to cool off when they feel angry. Make sure that when they are able to calm down, you will have a talk with them about the situation that triggered the anger.
• Ask them how they feel, why and what caused the feeling. Avoid telling them what not to do but what they should do when they feel angry. We sometimes concentrate on telling our kids what to avoid and what is wrong without educating them the proper thing to do instead.
• Teach abdominal breathing when they are angry. Breathe through the nose and exhale slowly through the mouth. Deep breathing will relax them and lower the stress of being angry thus reducing anger itself.
• Identify the body’s responses when they become angry. Knowing what’s happening in their body when they become angry like heavy breathing, increased heart beat and sweaty palms will help them know that these are normal responses and that they can control it by relaxation techniques for calming down.

A good part of helping your child manage anger is to make them understand that feeling angry is normal and happens to people but acting it out violently isn’t. Be firm in setting the limits and rules that will govern their behavior when they are angry. When they become calm talk about what happened and discuss ways wherein your children can better handle the situations that trigger feelings of anger.

Remember the times when your children were still babies how they are dependent to you for care, love and nurturing. As they slowly grow learning their many firsts in life you were there to guide and witness their small but remarkable achievements. But as they grow into their toddler years and into adolescence suddenly they become stubborn and hard headed. Every parent may have experience this at one time with their children where it seems they have gone wild with tantrums and become disobedient to your rules and defy your authority. It can be frustrating but as parents you need to take control and impose discipline on them cause if you don’t who else will?

Start off with these simple steps on how to set the rules for your children.

• Communicate effectively – getting angry at your children without telling them the reason will be harmful to your children. They will feel it’s alright to yell and get angry at someone without reason at all. Remember that children look up to adults and they most likely follow their lead. Foster a healthy relationship based on open communication. Find time to talk with your child either one on one or with the family. Make sure you are sending clear messages to them as to what the rule is and their limits. In this way when they disobey or break them they will feel accountable because it was already communicated to them clearly.
• Listen – being a parent does not give you the right to dictate all the time. Listening is a vital part of disciplining your child because it builds trust and makes them feel that they are being understood even if they have made mistakes they will feel that they can get over it and make up for it. By listening you can take into consideration your child’s needs and reaching a favorable agreement to both parties will be achieved.
• Consistency – parents need to be consistent with the rules because when they don’t children will think that these rules are not strictly implemented and this will give them the idea to try and persuade you to bend the rules.
• Always be fair – being a parent who imposes discipline should always be an example for their children. Part of being fair is to listen to your child’s needs and reasons and evaluate with them validity and fairness of their reasons.

Instill values – part of discipline is teaching your children to become better individuals and prepare them for adulthood wherein their values will be tested in the real world. Raising a good child into becoming a responsible adult is a triumph for parents. Teach them good values and while you are it make sure you bring with you a huge amount of patience as children can really get to your nerves, but keep in mind this is a normal phase in their lives and when they grow old both of you will laugh

All kids are naturally outgoing and sociable especially in their early years.  However, shyness could develop as your child grows older.  Children need encouragement and support from their parents for them to develop the confidence to be open, and therefore get used to different dense situations.

Shyness is a very common sight among children.  How many times do you see a child act timid and reserved when in the company of strangers?  You’ll often find them hiding at your back when being introduced.  Children are naturally friendly but as they mature, the way they interact with people becomes more complicated.

During our childhood years, we often interact with the other kids simply by sharing our toys or playing all sorts of games with them.  Relationships and contacts with other kids usually consist of actions.  As we grow older, our interactions with other people become more focused on conversations.  This explains why children may be able to play and interact with other children older than them, but do not necessarily have the ability to talk and converse intelligently.

One misconception is that silence is often taken as a trait of a good-mannered individual.  This is why when parents observe their child to be shy, they would see it as their child as being behaved and well-mannered.  However, as the child matures and begins to attend school, especially high school, socializing with classmates then becomes more difficult.

When you begin to observe this kind of behavior, remember that it’s important to take things slowly.  Never force your child into a situation that’s unfamiliar or situations wherein they could get terrified and intimidated.  This is a very critical step in helping your child to overcome shyness.  You could either help them overcome it or make it worse if you do it with the wrong approach.

Nowadays, a lot of parents may be too busy with work and may find it difficult to allot time to interact with their children.  Remember that it’s with family members where a child begins to learn to interact conversely and intelligently.

During the early years, you can observe them to be very vocal about their feelings.  However, being open to their parents tends to diminish.  You should try to make your home an environment where being open is encouraged.  This will prepare your child in being able to interact well with people as he or she matures.

Allowing them to open up and voice out their ideas do not necessarily mean that you have to agree with them all the time.  What’s important is that they feel what they’re saying is not being criticized, nor patronized.  They will know if you are being true or not.  As long as they feel you give them opportunity to express their ideas, they are going to turn out okay.  If you would not give them the chance to express these, they would feel that nobody else will.  This is ultimately how a person becomes shy, timid, and insecure.

All people, especially children, want to fit in but shyness could get in the way. Shyness can be a very difficult problem for children.  Not all people, including parents, may understand how this feels like.  Careful thought and spotting this problem early on can make a whole lot of difference.

When it comes to disciplining a child the commanding and dictating way isn’t always the trick to make your child obey you. In most cases commanding or always telling them what not to do without properly explaining why leads to children who become rebellious and angry because they feel they are always dismissed and misunderstood. Children who are often told what to do will become irresponsible adults unable to decide what path to take in life in which they end up lagging behind or being stagnant.

When raising a child it is important to make them feel that what they have to say matters to be able to foster the value accountability or owning one’s actions. Parents should practice giving their children choices and guide them how to make wise and informed decisions. When parents provide choices this teaches the child to become responsible and independent and it will also develop their skill in problem solving. It makes them feel in control which boosts their self esteem even more.

If you think about it, providing your children with choices will make it easier for you because you can screen the choices you’ll present to them which are accepted by your own terms. By giving them the power to choose as opposed to commanding them what they ought to do they will feel empowered and will most likely follow the choice they made. It is a win-win agreement for both parties. Empowering children to make their own choices will give them a feel of being a grown up and this is a good opportunity to teach them the value of being responsible for their own decisions and the consequences that comes along with it. Parents need to communicate the choices well enough for children to understand the consequences of each choice. Do not be frustrated if your child made a wrong choice, sometimes you need to let them experience making bad decision because in this they get to learn how to do better next time. Avoid showing feelings of disapproval or anger towards their decision instead show empathy and support that whatever decision they make you will be there to support and guide them all the way.

This method of providing choices for children is seen by experts as an effective way of disciplining your child and teaching them to be mindful of their actions and take accountability to their decisions. Be cautious in giving your child too much freedom to choice instead make the choices favorable in your own terms and make sure that they are acceptable in both ways so that whichever choice the child makes it will still have a similar goal. To give you a better picture of how providing choices can discipline your child, see the following examples.

“Would you rather finish your homework today or finish them alone on the weekend when the family is out enjoying the theme park?”

“Would you rather clean up your art materials now or would you choose to have them locked in the cabinet for 1 week?”

It can be sometimes frustrating and at times, also embarrassing to be in the company of your child who can be so talkative at home but when it comes to the friendly next-door neighbor or during grand family occasions, he literally transforms into a robot that has malfunctioned or a turtle that has snapped back inside its shell. It is much more difficult as the child, even at home, prefers to keep things to himself. It can even take a toll on parents to note that their child prefers to mumble things to himself or to his toys and not say a word to the people inside the house.

This struggle kids undergo and the chances of subtly hiding their emotions are but common happenings among children especially toddlers. Parents have to understand that they are not alone in facing kids who have this type of problem. Nonetheless, there are ways for parents as well as the teachers at school to help these tight-lipped kids in verbalizing what they really think or what they really want.

One thing parents can initially do is to prepare the child at home. An environment which nurtures love and encouragement is beneficial for the child. Knowing that what he says even if it is incorrectly stuttered will not be rebuked by his loved ones is already a form of reassurance for the tight-lipped kid. If he knows that people will listen to his tales of going to his imaginary land without being castigated for dreaming during the day, then he will surely open up more but as always, this can take some considerable amount of time.

You can also prepare your child by reminding him that Mrs. Smith might just want you to say hello and ask how you are doing in school. Before going to a party, you may also tell him that there could be lots of people who might want to talk to him or ask him to sing and these are just okay; telling your child that you will be there to watch over him will surely make a difference.

You can also have a role playing exercises at home. Teaching phrases like, “I am fine”, “Thank you” and “I am three years old” can be helpful. Additionally, when you role-play, you might want to have all the attention on the activity. Switch off the television or the radio so you will be focused on your objective.  If it does not really work out that well, do not get frustrated and do not show your frustration to your child. Allow some more time.

You can also guide your child by cuing in statements to coax him to speak up. Saying, “What do we say?” or “We say thank you when someone gives us something” are but some examples.

Expressing one’s self is part of emotional and mental development; like any other human being, a child has his own pace and respecting that pace is ultimately what you can do as a parent. Be there to morally support your child when he is already ready.

Aside from parents, children are also under the care of their doctors. If parents are there to support their kids when it comes to emotional, physical, spiritual and mental needs, the doctor is the one who takes care of the medical concerns of children which are very important. The doctor can be a very good information giver when it comes to the overall condition and health of a child. If you are one of the concerned parents who wants to know more about how your child’s health is doing, you should be able to communicate with your kid’s doctor well.

But because you do not have all the time in the world to attend to every visit with your child, and at the same time the doctor does not have an appropriate time to schedule every visit your child will be doing in your days off, you should be able to make the most out of every meeting you have with your kid’s doctor. This article will give parents like you some tips that would help you build a good and strong relationship with your child’s doctor, as well as give some advice on how you can make the most out of your time with him.

Creating a Strong Relationship with Your Child’s Doctor

The best thing to do to properly communicate with your child’s doctor and build a good relationship with him is to trust him. Today, because of the Internet, a lot of parents are trying to get all the information they need regarding their child’s health. Chances are, when they go visit with their child’s doctor, they argue with some of the diagnosis which they do not know extensively about in the first place. The doctor on the other hand will feel somewhat wasting his time trying to convince the parent who thinks he knows everything.

You have to remember that the doctor knows best, no matter what happens. What you read on the web are just general assumptions. Your child’s doctor is the perfect information bank when it comes to your kid’s health because he is the one who knows about the history of your child which the internet cannot provide. In addition to this, your child’s doctor also knows about your child’s overall health, where he can help you maintain and monitor it. He can also make sure that every progress of your child is reported to you and he can also tell you some information of what you are likely to expect out of your child. Your child’s doctor also has the ability to treat minor and common illnesses your child gets and give him proper medication based on his medical history, and as a bonus, he can also explain to you the nature of your child’s illness and the procedure for treatment.

Finally, your child’s doctor can also refer some of the best experts in cases where your child needs special care and medication. All of these things can be achieved with proper communication and relationship with your child’s doctor.